On Fighting Sterotypes and Listening to your Characters

     Well, this has certainly been a while but I thought it was time that I updated and started looking into posting here more often. Have threatened to do so before so let's see if it sticks this time. Those of you who are not writers who read this may find everything I am about to say strange and wonder why the Hell I have not been committed for multiple personality disorder but, to my writer peeps, this will all make a terrible amount of sense. To us, our characters are very real, living things that often have a voice of their own. Call it the Muse if you want but it holds true for every writer I know.
     So, to tell the story right, let me take you back. In 1992, when my writing was just basically bad fanfiction (like many aspiring writer teens), I came up with The Sirens. At the time, I had a love/obsession with X-Men comics. I have always been a huge fan of comics so I came up with my own story set in Stan Lee's wonderful world (though I realize there are others whom I should be thanking for helping create the world that so inspired my childhood). The Sirens were basically 4 young ladies who liked Professor Xavier and his students but didn't really feel they'd fit in at his academy so they were off doing their own thing. The idea got a couple of silly little stories written but nothing at that time that was actually serious. About 3 years later, 1995 or so, while working on a bored scribble that involved the Sirens, I realized that one of the characters was actually more like two. The two sides of the character's personality were actually separate people, not one person with mood issues or a person with MPD. This splinter character sort of merged with a previous character I'd come up with for something else but was in no way serious about. For lack of understanding of the character and not knowing exactly where I wanted to go with her, I gave her that previous character's name, Marissa. It was a placeholder but I felt it would probably stick and that the character herself would speak up at some point if it did not.
     The original incarnation of this character did have black hair, like she does now, but was white, again, for lack of imagination and wanting to have somewhere, anywhere to start with this new person that was forming. I tried playing around with the character and writing a few scenes but she was little more than muscle, the scary person in the background looking cool and wearing sunglasses with arms folded. She wasn't working and wasn't talking and I wondered why. Then, finally, one day, out of the blue, the voice that I now recognize as hers just simply was there. It was like she looked me in the eye and was not happy. Naturally, I was like "Why?" Her reply came clear as a bell and as blunt as could be. "Cause I'm Asian, dumbass." .......Oh.
     Obviously, this was a problem. Not the ethnicity, of course, but rather my lack of understanding of that culture. Not being Asian, it meant a lot of peeling away layers to get through stereotypes to get a feel for the actual culture. I had already done extensive research on Japanese culture but this character made it pretty clear early on that she was Chinese, thank you very much, which meant I had a lot of work to do. Immediately, I thought, "Well, that name will have to go eventually. For now, she can just use it because Americans butcher her name and I'll find her true name when she's ready to give it to me." Despite my best efforts, however, she still remained that badass in the background that didn't have a lot to say and her past remained a mystery. Eventually, I had to come up with a story of why she had such a mysterious past and why she didn't really talk much. Thought it would be good to give her a reason to connect with her best friend so I decided her family had probably been killed by the Triads (Chinese mafia), much like her friends' folks had died by the Yakuza. It also explained why she didn't use her true name, as she didn't want bad guys breathing down her neck. I also figured she probably got some payback for what happened to her folks and that would make them really not happy with her, one more reason to have an American name. It was an okay start but felt a little too easy, a little too much coincidence going into everything. Plus, that name still had to go.
     It wasn't until sometime in 2011 that I finally stumbled on her real name, Xun Yi Fang. After nearly 16 years, I had finally found her name and I knew it to my bones when I first tentatively put it on paper and I could fell the character take a deep breath and say "Finally!" I started to catch glimpses, after that, of her true character, her true purpose, and what she was really like. Her backstory became a little more fleshed out and, while its core remained the same, she did not feel as lazily made and her backstory seemed to fit more, as the details flushed out to differentiate her from her other friends. For some reason, lamentably, because I had referred to this character as "Marissa" for nearly twenty years, I had a hard time making the switch in my head. Even with her true name revealed, I kept wanting to call her by her old name and still had her using it as a cover for her past because she'd killed a few people responsible for family's death and it seemed logical that she would want to prevent jail time, extradition, or being too easily found by those she didn't get to in her quest for vengeance. Then, I realized I'd hit another road block.
     The character just suddenly stopped talking and refused to make that final transition into full blown, realistic character. Many characters created before and after her had finally made their final transition but she refused to. I was upset and frustrated because I thought I had the character's background, backstory, personality, and motives, etc all nailed down. When I realized that I didn't and something was missing, I was disheartened. I'd been working on this character for so long and she still was not ready to fully speak! Then, one day, while I was looking up some information, she dropped a bomb on me. She told me why she wasn't talking.
     "Why won't you just let me have my name?" she said to me. At first, I was stunned. I'd been, unknowingly dodging around the issue for a long time but I suddenly came to me clear as a bell as the character finally started to talk. "I know why you won't let go of that other name and I can even understand the logic behind it but don't you think I deserve to have my name, after everything I went through? Other people may have trouble saying it, their problem, not mine. It's my name and I'm not hiding it for anybody. As for being easy to find, do you really think I care if scum bags come at me? Let them come. Thought you would have known me better than that after 22 years." I was floored. Then, came the revelation that hurt. "Also, I know you're not doing it intentionally but aren't you robbing me of my culture by not giving me my name? Sarah and Al (other characters in the series) might be ok with American identities but I am not. I am Chinese, so let me be Chinese." I realized in that moment that I was, unintentionally, white washing this character. While a couple other characters had changed their names for good reason, those characters had grown up in the US at least part of their lives. Xun Yi did not. I was doing her a great disservice and, since, as an author, it's my job to try to be as woke as possible and as aware of cultural appropriation as possible, I could see that point. I know I will still struggle to remember sometimes to call her by her real name but I've changed it in the manuscript and, since then, Xun Yi has been much happier and much more talkative. I may even get her full backstory out of her yet.

My creative process

Since I'm finally back in the game, I thought I'd take a minute and share a bit of my creative process with you all. Every writer is different and each person creates differently. My fiance, for instance, works best when he can occupy himself with a mindless video game. This occupies his subconscious and gives him a way to let his mind actually wander and create. He also tends to have music or a television program going. As someone with ADHD, this works for him and helps him to focus because he works best when actually physically doing something and working on more than one thing at the same time.

For me, that's creative Hell. I usually need a much more tranquil work space. When I was younger I couldn't work unless it was dead quiet and I was alone and isolated in a very comfortable place with munchies and drink at hand. Since then, I've adapted and my circumstances have changed somewhat. Now, I work best on dreary, gray, rainy days with a cup of tea, a bit of appropriate music, and my knitting or crocheting close at hand. The music becomes the soundtrack for the book or character I'm working on and it helps to fuel the scenes I write. I use it to inspire myself and to help me clear my head while I edit. The knitting does the same thing. When I am editing or stuck on a plot idea, I knit and listen to some music. I review what I have and let my mind figure out where it needs to go next. The tea and sometimes a snack are mostly just to keep my physical and mental energy up. I work best when I am mentally running a mile a minute and physically content. I will also write a lot after my morning jog because the physical activity shakes loose problems sometimes and it allows me to create.

The hard part is convincing my muse to work on days when it isn't rainy and when conditions are less than ideal. The music helps me to tune out the conditions that are less than ideal and helps me work, even when it's not exactly how I want to work. When all else fails, I edit. I skim my pages for misspellings and other small errors. Sometimes just doing this and going over what I've done will help me unblock my muse so I can continue writing.

For me, the muse comes in the form of a movie in my head with subtitles. The movie starts and there is a little ticker tape that describes everything that's going on, while I hear, feel, and see the dialogue and action taking place. Once that tape and movie starts, I need to be at a computer and usually stay there for at least three hours. I am not a writer who gets up frequently. I tend to tune the world out and dive into what I am seeing in my mind's eye. On a good day, I will stretch when I am finished and realize that the world has gone dark and that I've not eaten in seven hours and am starving. Those are the days when I can look over what I've written the next day and feel very, very proud of what I've done. I'm trying to get myself up to more days like that so that, once November comes, I have a chance at actually completing or almost completing my book by the end of the month.

So that's my story. What's yours?

Finally got blog issues sorted out and a good day of writing

Well this has been interesting. I was logged out of my account for a very long time and had no way of recovering or fixing the situation. Now that I have finally managed to fix the issues, I will be able to update with a lot more content.

On a happier note, yesterday was very productive. I have my paperwork filled out for graduation and the oral defense of my thesis and am one step closer to getting my Master's. No words can describe how happy that has made me, especially after being down with pneumonia and not being able to really get much accomplished. Now that I am on LOA from work, I can concentrate on re-configuring my balance of work, school, writing, household duties, social life, and spiritual life. It has been severely out of whack for the last couple of years and I am just now starting to get it all settled how I want it.

I still have job hunting, debt forgiveness for my student loans, and publication options to look into as well as a ton of research on where I will be best able to use my degrees but I am much closer now than I was and I have much more time to get it accomplished than I ever would have before. I can actually devote time to making my career work and making a difference. This makes me happier than I can ever describe. In one day I managed to get all that paperwork done, my dishes, some cleaning, and finish editing on my thesis and my reflective essay that goes with it. Beyond some fine tuning, turning in the paperwork, and paying the fee to process my graduation, it's coming to a rapid close and that is a very good feeling.

Character List - Obsidian Gate

I got thinking about it and it occurred to me that maybe people might be having trouble keeping up with who's who in the Obsidian Gate series, so... here's a character list and hope it keeps things simple while I finish my current projects. I will update and add to this post as time goes on so keep checking back:

The Sirens - a group of Private Detectives based out of New York. Membership includes the following people:

Alexandra Lee - a half Mexican, half Japanese pyrokinetic. She's a mutant with a mysterious and obviously painful past. She's totally over the moon for Danthias Silverbow but has raging issues to deal with concerning her past. While the Sirens are her brain child, her half sister, Sarah Lee, is the undisputed organizer and quasi-leader of the group. Al is fun, flirty, and a bit of a daredevil but is trying to calm her irresponsible ways and settle down as an actual cop

Sarah Lee - Alex's older half sister - a Japanese telepath with some telekinetic and empathic abilities as well - She's as stoic and grounded as her sister is whimsical and impulsive.

Linnelle Cassidy - one of Sarah and Al's oldest friends - Linn is a witch with fae, Elven, and mutant ancestry that've left her with rather unique abilities - she's the step-sister of Jennifer Cassidy and cousin to Lyra Kelley - feisty and independent, she talks with a thick Irish brogue

Jennifer Cassidy - Linn's step-sister and one of the four founding members of the Sirens with Linn, Sarah, and Al - a mutant genius who specializes in computers, science, and information gathering - She's a super hacker and the mind behind most of the clever gadgets that the Sirens use - shy and quiet, she easily befriends just about everyone.

Marissa Li Fang - a lycanthrope with most unusual heritage - She's the gun bunny and battering ram of the Sirens. Blunt, tough, and no nonsense, she's the strong arm of the Sirens and, oddly enough, one of the people Dan connects with most

Let's Try This Again, Shall We?

Well, it's certainly been a while so here's the scoop: My computer died and it's taken me forever to get all my old websites, etc. all back and running again, including passwords and access to this blog. Hopefully there won't be any more glitches along those lines but I'm still in the middle of a major overhaul and transferring things onto my new computer and backing them up. This process is being very complicated by the fact that I finally moved into my own place in April of 2013, then had some serious life events happen. My mother had a major aneurism and nearly died in August of 2013, right before I had to move from the new place that I had just moved into. She was in the hospital until about a month before Christmas and then went right back into the hospital the day after. This was not a small thing. They airlifted her from Standish to Saginaw and the doctor on call told the chopper that if it wasn't in the air in three minutes, he was sending her via ambulance instead. She couldn't wait. My father was told to prepare for the worst, that she probably wouldn't make it and they had to put nine bags of blood into her tiny body. It was the scariest day of my life and I'm sure for my father as well and I was trying to move, plan one of my best friends' weddings, and get ready to go back to school in the Fall of 2013 as well. So, naturally, in the midst of all that, there would not have been any updating. Then, mom went back into the hospital shortly after my first semester and did not get out again until the following April or so due to two more major surgeries that were almost as risky as the first one and it's a miracle she made it through all three and got enough of a clean bill of health to make it home. She's doing well but recovering very, very slowly and all of this has taken a toll on her. If you add all of that on top of totally redoing and updating my work, taking classes pretty much year round, trying to keep up with bills and a household, while also putting together and updating a professional profile, you can see where that would add up to not a whole lot of time for anything else. I'm going to start including updating this in my round of doing things. I have a massive list of things to accomplish and these next two weeks might be spotty but by the end of September I would like to be able to start updating once a week with something, no matter how small, just to make this a regular habit again and to start promoting this and getting my work out there. It's long past time I got serious and made this the living I want it to be someday. I will keep updating where and when I can but please be patient and please understand that life happens, sometimes for years in a row, and things can get crazy. My intent is not to allow this to happen again but well, the best of intentions and all.... We'll see how this goes, take it step by step, and hopefully start moving towards a much more professional, published, and polished version of myself. Thank you all who are still out there for your patience and understanding.

Love,
Sarah

Been a while

Just looking at the time stamps on my last few posts makes me cringe. It makes me feel unprofessional to say the least. I will have to be honest with you all. My muse was dead, deader than a former child star's career. I had originally simply intended to do some much needed edits and repost the chapters I had finished thus far. Now, a year later, looking back, I realize just how uninspired I was at that point. Life happened and I just couldn't seem to get those edits rolling or get even one ounce of inspiration to continue. That's all changed now. I'm back. It's a new day, a new year, and this time, nothing's stopping me. It may be a bit before I actually repost those chapters and get cracking, simply because I've done some major overhauling and totally rewritten some things. If I post the rewrites chapter by chapter, the old stuff is really going to make the new stuff make no sense. Rather have you all indulge in patience just a tad longer and have it be an excellent post than have it be mediocre and try to rush it. May also play with some design and make this blog look a lot better. Well, thanks for everything and I'm sorry to all those that have followed me. I'm not dead, I promise.

Editing and More Editing

Well, I've found some areas in which my previous entries have been sorely lacking. As we speak, I'm rewriting parts of Chapters 2-13 in order to add more suspense, action, and a bit more sense and cohesion to the work as a whole. It has been brought to my attention that there are several places where more explanation and background is needed and plenty of places where I've noticed the villains and storyline in general could be tweaked to better get the story across.

The things I've added thus far will give us more insight into Charlie and why he's such a nice guy, more of Dan's background, more of the history of the Sirens and why they are in the predicament they are in, and a bit more about the girls in general. I'm also working to build the villains up a little more and build more suspense within their sub plots before I start bringing it all together. I'm also working like a fiend on Chapter 14 but that chapter's finish is going to hinge on me getting all my edits done as well. In a nut shell, it means when I finally post Ch. 14, I'll be posting all new material for some of the previous chapters as well so those of you who've read this before might want to skim through the edits when I get them posted before moving on to Ch.14. If there are any major requests, comments, questions, or concerns, please feel free to let me know and I will keep you all posted on future chapters and the possibility of moving to a website.